I don’t get it!

I hear my own son working on homework saying, “I don’t get it!” I sit in youth facilities each week and hear them say, “I don’t get it!” I look at our education system in high school and the lack of arts, vocation, or creative ways to present the material and I say, “I don’t get it!”

I get to be with youth everyday that don’t get it, most don’t get a dad, most don’t get help with and academics, most are reading at only a 4th grade reading level, most don’t have any support or reason to show up for school, and most had to stay at home to watch siblings while mom goes to her third job.  Education has such a big influence on success of a youth after they turn 18!

You can help! We might not be able to change the education system but you can help support youth who need one-on-one time to work through their education, help them with the motivation necessary to be in that trade that would fit them better. See the greatness in them and walk through small goals, encouraging them along the way. It is so important to catch our young people doing something right! Why do we default to just yelling at them for what they’ve done wrong!

A caring adult mentor who cares about youth can change a young person’s life completely. Support, consistency, care, empathy, listening. prayer, asking good questions, pushing them to achieve their goals, patience, seeking to understand, earning trust are all descriptors of our best mentors! Our youth have the deck stacked against them from day one, we can help turn the odds and show up in their lives.

Start with your own children. How about other friend’s kids? Your neighbor’s children? It doesn’t have to be complicated but education and mentoring can keep a young person on the right track!

Cost of Mentoring

When adults talk with me about mentoring for our program I share that we will prepare them for this new journey the best we can. But I never know how to prepare them for the disappointments they will experience and for the strong connection they will have with their mentee.

A recent conversation I had with one of our mentors is no exception. “Jenny”, the mentor, is working with “Marcy”, the mentee. Marcy shared with Jenny that she has dropped out of school because the school counselor called the police to have her taken to the hospital and now she doesn’t trust the school. Marcy hasn’t been home for 3 months and when she was talking with Jenny she was staying that the Spire, a downtown high rise in Denver, by herself. Both Jenny and I think that this could be a trafficking situation.

As Jenny and I continue to talk about the situation it is not our role to “fix it” but to be available and ready when Marcy will ask for help from us and to continue to build trust. Jenny continues to see Marcy on a weekly basis and talks through future, goals, and what is best for Marcy. Marcy has said she is lonely, doesn’t feel loved at home, hopeless and helpless, but when she hangs out with Jenny she feels “normal”.

Jenny seems to be the glue right now for Marcy and her life. Jenny is committed to the best for Marcy and prays, hopes, and encourages Marcy to make choices that are best for her. They have a long way to travel on this journey, but as we care for Jenny and helping her with healthy boundaries and taking care of her own spiritual and emotional healthy we will continue to see change for the better in Marcy’s life.

Would you consider this investment in a young person, even if it isn’t with an organization? (i.e. friend’s teenager, neighborhood kid, etc.)

Culture Shock

Just finished the Colfax Half Marathon.

As I sat in my office (one of many coffee shops around the Denver Area) I overheard a young man talking to a girl about how he doesn’t like looking at “that stuff” because it degrades women.  (I usually have my headphones in but had just taken them out to take a phone call…I’m usually not the creep that listens into people’s conversations – at least I try not too!)  I was shocked, most of the conversations I have with young people I work with on the inside; I’m trying to get them to treat women with respect in words, actions, and with their thoughts!

I recently came home from being out on the streets of Denver and inside a juvenile detention center and heard the laughter of my kids in the backyard.  I thought to myself how “odd” this is.  I “get” to come home to a family, two parents who love each other, my children who know that nothing will take away their parent’s love or more so, nothing will take away their Heavenly Father’s love!  They are supported, not manipulated or abused. They are taken care of (hey, Raman is an acceptable meal…every once in a while) being fed, a place to sleep, and protected.  (I had walked into a “home” earlier that day of one of the other young men I mentor and he doesn’t have a bed to sleep on.)

I know, I know you are thinking how is this culture shock, you are thinking of third world countries and the lack of clean water, hunger, and homelessness.  But on this day, I reflected about how different of an environment my children are being raised in compared to the youth I work with on the inside and outside youth detention facilites.  Most of the youth I work with have less than 10 developmental assets which leads to so much more unstable living.  So…count your blessings today, realize that you are loved by a Heavenly Father, you are cared for and He will never give up on you.  If you want to be a part of this mission to bring hope and healing to these young people, give me a shout!

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No one wins!

So…I work with a lot of youth who are in the news.  Many people have a multitude of opinions about these juveniles, many justified as their criminal acts are incredibly evil.  But, where the world may have a pecking order on crimes that are not bad to incredibly worse – God has asked me to love!  He has asked me to be Christ’s presence in their lives.  I am asked to listen, to offer hope, and share the relationship that can transform their lives forever.

As I sit in front of murders, sex offenders, thieves, drug addicts, gang bangers, promiscuous, and non believing young people; I see them through the eyes of Christ.  You see, I’m not there to tell them how much they need Jesus, I’m there to tell them how much I do – moment by moment every decision of my life.  He is the judge, I have no room to judge or condemn.  I’ve been saved from much, I’m treated better than I deserve…we all need Him to lead our lives and change the way we have been living.

Next time you find yourself watching the news and fear sets in, or your blood begins to boil.  Remember what you were saved from, offer up a prayer for victim and criminal, and pray for the work inside Juvenile Justice Centers around the nation.

What has God been challenging you to do lately?

Where is He stretching your perspective?

How can you respond to Him today?

 

Honor your father!

Pictured above is my dad with a few of the grandkids.  The earliest memory I have of my dad and I really connecting was after a Promise Keepers event we came back from.  My mom had always said that my dad and I butted heads so much because we were so much alike.  My dad and I didn’t always see eye to eye, but it was after this PK trip that we really started communicating.  I heard my dad really say “I love you” and not just he kind that family says because that’s what you do.  I felt there was more meaning behind this, “I love you.”  My dad and I started golfing every Sunday together, it was good to be with him away from everything.  I miss that time with just my dad and I.  I felt how important it was to just be me and my dad so I make sure I take individual time with each of my sons, just me and one of my sons at a time doing something together.

My dad would brag about his son’s accomplishments.  Whether it was how hard of workers we were (dad taught us a strong work ethic), or a track meet/speech/music event, or now with our wives and kids…dad will let anyone know, who will listen, how proud he is off his children.

My dad loves his family and it shows in his “love language” of providing.  He is the most generous man you will come in contact with.  We were in Denver, where I currently live, and walking out of a store a man approached us asking for money when I asked for what, he said he was trying to get home to Grand Junction.  I offered him a ride to the bus stop but could not pay for his ticket.  On the ride there my dad engages this man in conversation and learns more of his story.  When we get to the Greyhound main terminal my dad gives him money for a bus ticket to his home and money for food.  My dad takes care of his family…from long road trips in the Buick to Oklahoma to visit my grandparents, to vehicles he helped buy us, to college loans he gave us, to what I do now with youth in Denver (dad is my biggest supporter in this mission, www.yfcdenver.org)…my dad takes care of me!  Very much like my Heavenly Father who meets my every need, he uses my dad everyday to lift me up, support me, love my family, and he provides for us!  I’m proud of my dad, I love my dad, and I’m grateful for my dad!

I know that not everyone is perfect and my dad and I have had our share of difficulties, but I look through different lenses at our relationship and there are many youth that I work with in the Division of Youth Corrections who have never met their dad or their dad was an absent father.  These young people long to be loved and cared for, my dad always took care of us.

On this Father’s day, I thank you dad, I honor you, I love you!  I’m so grateful that God put me in your care!  May you know that you are loved by your Heavenly Father today, not for what you do but for who you are!  I know that so many look to you as an example of what a father should be, I know I do!  My sons get my best because you gave me your best!  I love you!  Happy Father’s Day!

What can you do today to show your children that you love them?  What do you need to say to your father today?  Do you know how much your Heavenly Father loves you, no matter what?  What is something you regret not doing with your kids that you can start doing…NOW?!

A meal together…

How many times have you rushed through a meal?  Or instead of sitting down with the family at table you pull out the TV trays in front of the television?

Working with incarcerated and previously incarcerated youth I have bought “many-a-meal” for a young person, but I don’t do this just because they claim they are “starving”.  I do this because it gives us the chance to sit down and talk.  I usually ask a lot of questions to get them to slow down while eating, many of them have never sat for more than five minutes to have a meal (it’s that poverty mindset habit).

I was thinking about conversations around a table and reflecting on the passover meal.  Our Jewish friends celebrate this meal as a remembrance of their freedom from Egypt, but the last time Jesus ate this meal with his friends it meant something different.  He was to be the sacrifice for all!  At the time the disciples did not understand how significant this meal was that night…many youth don’t understand how significant our conversations around the table are.

So whether you chose to slow down during a meal or be intentional about conversations with your family around the table…remember the last meal of our Christ and how significant that event was for us.  Redeemed, transformed…LOVED!

Do you remember the last significant conversation you had over a meal? Are there any person(s) you should invite to have a meal together?

YFC – Juvenile Justice Ministry

When you have seven minutes (or the two minute version) to view the video below, click the link! This is a glimpse of what I do as part of the mission of Youth for Christ (YFC).

YFC – Juvenile Justice Ministry

YFC/JJM Short Version